Birthdays

Isn’t everyone always talking about their 13th birthday or their sweet sixteen?

Well here I am,turning 14 tomorrow.

You know that excitement,happiness  ,the glow the people have on their faces,the heart pumps making a person go all red on their birthdays?

None of that happens to me.

To the outside world,I am just an ordinary well-to-do kid ’cause I can cover up and patch up almost all my feelings.

Deep down , birthdays are just another reminder to me that on this day, “your mother who is dead gave birth to you ”

And as stupid as it sounds for me to be carried away by such an indirect thought,I can’t help it.

Infact,I am very forgettable.

Fun facts about me?

The fun fact is I’m very forgettable if not boring.

And I don’t even deny it ’cause all I like to do is lie in this positive aroma I try creating on this blog,like honestly.

No one gives a damn and I’m totally fine.

No one excluding my father.

My father is that one person I always look forward to talking to after an exhausting day.That one person who may not understand everything a teen goes through but tries so hard to.

Tell me,wouldn’t it be worse if he never did try?

I think people should enjoy their birthdays because it’s that one day you can own…

In fact, you can all own every one of your days.

Wake up in the morning,start with a smile however miserable you feel deep down and do whatever you feel like ’cause after all it’s your day.

A wise friend of mine often says,

“Remember that Winnie the Pooh wore a crop top with no pants,ate his favourite food and loved himself and you can too”

Hiding your feelings from the world is not the best thing to make you feel better but if you find an essential purpose to do it,then don’t think twice!

I smile pushing down how I really feel down my throat to make my father happy.

And if things can get worse,we can only hope.

Hope is a dangerous thing,yes.

But hope.

Have a wonderful day guys:)

With love,

amateurxblogger 

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Forever?

I don’t understand how to put this in words…I just don’t.

This blog is for people who thought they could trust this one person and this one person would be their forever.

After all the drama with my friends in school,I met this one girl who made me smile every time she said something.Our relationship only grew stronger leaving out all the ups and downs we had once in a while.I left all my friends for her,when she was at her lowest.

Our friendship was not something normal.We did joke about a lot of things,did things other girls would do…but we also shared our deepest secrets to one another…secrets that have been stuck in our minds for so long,waiting to come out.

It was better than a million other friendship goals.

But,like always.,,an end came.

We didn’t fight,we didn’t scream at each other,we didn’t quarrel on Instagram….nothing.

She just stopped talking to me all of a sudden.She wouldn’t give me a reason why.

I started to wonder if it’s because she stopped liking me or whether she ever liked me.

I don’t know anything.

And this time ,I’m not blaming it on her.

I’m just gonna let her go.

That’s probably one of the most difficult things I’ve done in my life but yet sometimes you just have to get your shit together and let it go.

I’m not ready yet to completely move on but I’m always open for new things finding their way to me:)

I’m not going to bitch about her or create all sorts of drama.

‘Cause I believe that someday, somewhere , sometime there is something good awaiting me .

And that belief is all that you require to hold on to life:)

There may or may not be a forever,but remember sometimes you just have to let things go and have a strong belief something better always exists.

And don’t forget ,always be grateful for what you have right here,right now:)

Thank you friend,for teaching me a wonderful lesson which I will never forget in my life,is all I have left to say:)

Lots of love,

amateurxblogger 

Books 

“Only those who are very weak-minded refuse to be influenced by literature and poetry” ~ Theresa Gray,The Infernal Devices

“We live and breathe words.It was books that kept me from taking my life when I thought I couldn’t love anyone,be loved by anyone;It was books that made me feel like perhaps I was not completely alone”~Will Herondale,The Infernal Devices

I love books.

                             


I’d prefer reading books all day rather than dealing with all the mess going on this world.

‘Cause between the pages of a book is a beautiful place to be!

You know that feeling when you are like absorbed into what you are reading,and it’s just you and the Amazing characters of a the book you are reading away from the reality that apparently sucks?

I LOVE THAT FEELING

The quotes I mentioned above are from characters from a book series written by Cassandra Clare.And guess what? That series, “the infernal devices”  changed my life. There was so much I learnt from that book…it’s just mind-blowing.

From love to compassion each character has their own problems apart from the fantasy part of it.Its just beautiful how it’s all put together.It has an amazing love triangle to be honest which is the best triangle I’ve been come across.

But when u describe the triangle,it just becomes super duper boring.Like,this is how it would go.

“So there’s this girl .And there are two guys. The girl loves them both.The boys both lover her…….”

Like how boring.

See anyone could come up with something like that!!!

It’s just the way it’s written.Like this story covers  Theresa Gray’s side,about her feelings and so on..it’s so beautifully described…I could like really feel the character!

I may not be an amazing writer ,but I’m definitely an avid reader.

I’ve read many books from novels to latest fiction including Great Expectations,The Mortal Instruments,The Dark Artifices,Pride and Prejudice etc.

My favourite novel is “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens…There is like so much you can learn every time you read the book! I love the opening it goes like…

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way — in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. “A Tale of Two Cities,Chapter 1

And don’t even get me started on The Fault in our stars.

People think it’s just this sappy book where there’s a girl suffering from cancer and she meets​ this guy who is a cancer survivor and they hit it off but in the end there’s a sudden twist where the guy dies.

I get so maddd when people describe it like that …it’s not the book’s fault you don’t understand the depth of the book ugh.

There’s so much more to that book.Like just how another normal guy makes a girl’s miserable life brighter and happier.Do you not wanna be that kind of a person?


If there is so much we can learn from reading one book,imagine the amount  of  knowledge we can gain from umpteen number of books!
Whether the genre is Sci-fi,Horror,Drama or Comedy …There is always something to learn when you are open-minded and ready to to.

Encouraging reading is an amazing thing to do not only for vocabulary purposes but also for escaping the real world;)

I’ll probably start doing book reviews now and then hehe

Love,

amateurxblogger

Pride Month🌈

So it’s Pride Month yay!

I love how amazing this month is just because of this.

But even after having a day for each category of humans I don’t think this world is anywhere near improving its acceptence.

Are you gay?A lesbian?A polysexual,bisexual, pansexual or omnisexual?

My answer to any of the above: Nicee!

This world may or may not accept the above but that doesn’t mean you hide yourself and pretend to be someone you are not.

You should be able to come forward,scream to your maximum and tell the world who you are without being ashamed.

Because once you stop accepting your own self,your dreams, happiness and future; they are all gone. They just,vanish slowly.

You don’t want that to happen do you?

Continue reaching for the stars.

Don’t let ANYTHING OR ANYONE stop you.

‘Cause like I’ve said before,what you think about yourself matters more than what the entire world thinks about you!

I haven’t personally met anyone who is gay or a lesbian who is not ashamed of themselves in the 13yrs I’ve existed.

Connor Franta,Joey Graceffa,James Charles, Patrick Starr.

Well how are they so famous?

They make YouTube videos and are completely themselves and I don’t know anyone who’s ever hated them!Imagine the amount of courage that must have required!

Take it from them.

I may not know what bisexuals or polysexuals go through but I do know that they suffer a lot .

Make use of this month and try to prove yourself brave, courageous and unashamed of yourself!

Show the world who you really are!

And for the rest of you, accept each and everyone around you.It shouldn’t matter what their sexuality is.

Take pride in being who you are:))

Lots of love,

amateurxblogger

13 things you should never forget to remember:)

1. After the end of Everything,it’s just you,your thoughts and your mind left to decide on everything which works way better if u trust yourself with things 

2. Not having so many friends isnt “uncool” ; it’s just being wise enough to pick few who you know you won’t have to let go

3. Love yourself cuz why not?

4. Love what life brings you,gives you,and hold on to it like it’s the last thing you will ever be able to touch,feel or cry over even if it’s a bad thing cuz when you are at your lowest, your decisions matter and when trusting Yourself,you can handle all the bad things like a piece of cakee.

5. What you think about yourself is 10000 times more important than what the world thinks of you.

6. Remember to Appreciate all the lil things in life ’cause you don’t wanna regret every moment of your life after you lose it.

7. Whether it’s a mini van or a Ferrari ,be grateful u have something to take u places.

8. Fat,tall,short,thin,ugly,pretty are just a set of letters that don’t have to matter all the time

9. Be yourself,don’t ever play a fake you just to impress others; it’s definitely not gonna take you anywhere

10. Make decisions yourself don’t let others hate affect you.

11. Bullies and sadists are people who need serious counselling in life you don’t gotta worry abt them ; forget their existence,focus on yours.

12. Life can make you a celebrity in a day; don’t ever lose that selfless attitude and lose humanity which is what makes you human.

13. After all, You are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.

So these are just a few things that got me, a 13 year old,going for a complete academic year and this blog has helped me so very much; I can’t express in words how cheerful I am these days and so very grateful ’cause few months back I wouldn’t have been able to console myself and get back into the game of life which I had been defeated at several times.

Spread Positivity like how a forest spreads fire🔥❤

With luv,

amateurxblogger

Fat pride

Please don’t judge the title thank you 😂

So recently,I attended this workshop on personality development ’cause I got a spot for free and I was like why waste it so I ended up going …

It’s like this 5 hour long class for 9 days straight.I didn’t attend every single day as the workshop to be honest wasn’t very effective and it didn’t stick to the topic.

But those 9 days even were like hell. Hell meaning High School as portrayed in movies.I wasn’t bothered by the bullies and as much as I wanted to go ,slap them and give them a piece of my mind,I decided to stay quite ’cause they did just like little stuff for fun which isn’t something I appreciated much but okay..

So this one certain incident wanted me to blog abt accepting yourself/myself/ourselves.

So during break time,I saw this girl crying and I really wanted to help so I approached her and she said she was sad because few guys made fun of her as she was fat. Her exact words were “They teased me for being fat”

I gave her this little talk and chit chatted with her for a while but this made me realise something

I learnt two things in this 15 minute incident.

First,if it were some other person there and personally I’ve given talks like that to many people who cry for being called fat and their exact words would be ” they r making fun of me cuz they think I’m fat” But this girl, she accepted herself ,she did. She stressed on “being fat” .Maybe we should all just accept who we are,our weaknesses,our strengths.We all have good and bad in us…but it is how we bring it out and show ourselves strong.

Second, I am not fat. 

But some people think being called “fat” is like being called “black” in front of a large crowd of people.

No.no.no.

Are you fat? Yes or no I don’t care.AT ALL. 

You are beautiful just the way you are.And I can tell ’cause all u need to do is smile.

The whole world might not have this mindset.And we can’t tell the ENTIRE world but we can do little things to change this diabolical attitude in people.

Either you give them time to change or YOU change.

And by changing yourself,I don’t mean get a liposuction done the next day,…

I mean ,take pride in being fat.

Make yourself look supreme and powerful in front of goofs making fun of you.

“Hahahhaha look at that fat girl” “Hahahaha look at that fat boy”

Widen your mouth and smirk like crazy ,let’s see how they go beyond that.

Accept yourself for who you are.

Also,thank you so much for the support I specially want to thank Zainab Zahid,if you are reading this,you might not know but your sweet comments are what keeps me going.

With luv,

amateurxblogger

 Stage Fear

It’s funny how I never find a nice way to start a blog bless me.

Ever felt like it’s very easy for you to perform on stage because you have practiced A LOT?

People who usually have stage fear as far as I know,either have no confidence or are over confident.

Except my case is a little different!

I am confident just enough.

I practice day and night.

And I perform often.

But it’s just that moment when I got on stage .

I see all the people.

And my fear is not a huge huge huge one but still like this arrow passing through my heart.

I don’t completely lose my confidence but I start trembling like CRAZY.

Do you have stage fear?

Do u perform often?

If you do have stage fear,what are your tips to overcome them?

Mind sharing them with me? 😉

Please don’t leave me looking all lonely in the comment box pretty please with sugar on top!!!!!!

Also guys, I’m planning on writing a long long long blog about being “socially awkward” and if it gets positive reaction,maybe I’ll convert into an anonymous book ?! 

Thanking you all for 50+ follows agn, and your wonderful wonderful support which keeps me going everyday xx

With love,

amateurxblogger