*Mic drop*

When people ask you how well you performed(anything at all)on stage last week,

You’ll probably give ’em some answer like

“Oh it went extremely well”

Or

“Oh I kinda messed up it was pretty bad but well whatever”

Or

Something else which I don’t know ’cause I can’t read minds of other people;I’m no Colin Cloud :p

But these are the most common replies I get when I ask people how well they did!

You know that feeling when you are going to go on stage and gonna be the only person like thousands of people are gonna be watching or listening to?

And you have that nervous breakdown inside of you and you want to scream out loud?

I get it ALL THE TIME.

I’ve kinda told you all a little about my stage fear in one of my previous posts but well,

Even though it’s not like my biggest fear,when I’m on the stage I think to myself

“IF THIS ISNT YOUR BIGGEST PHOBIA WHAT IS”

But after I get off,I’m just all chill and I like completely forget about it.

We had like this public speaking workshop in school a few days back and there was this retired man from the Air Force whose words just inspired me and it was well,wonderful!

He talked about how we should not try to conquer and get rid of our fear,

But learn to live with it and use it to motivate us further to what we are doing!

And personally,this helped me a lot.

So there was a mathematics and science national championship which I was selected for…

And they didn’t tell us what we had to prepare for and there were like many different stages and in each stage they like eliminated over 75 children.

So it was basically a more humane version of the Hunger Games.

So I was super surprised when I made it to the Top 20.

Like SUPER SURPRISED!!!

It’s not like I doubted my knowledge I just lost almost all my confidence when in this last stage I had to go up the arena and talk about anything related to maths.

I looked pretty confident on the outside but inside I was just shivering;I just wanted to be back under the duvets of my cozy bed at home gah.

As soon as I got on stage,I like pushed the fear to like this one side and started thinking of things to talk about ’cause obviously this was an honest surprise!

And within seconds,words just flew out of my mouth and after I was done ,there was like a long applause and I just LOVED that feeling eeks.

A part of me was so happy I was able to avoid my fear and the other part was happy cuz I realised I was a good speaker haha!

So that’s how my stage fear ends!

For those of you who put in all their efforts to get rid of their fear like the old me,

Don’t.

Just learn how to live with it!

This is how my stage experiences will go now;)

*enters stage*

*picks up mic*

*speaks*

*mic drop*

*walks out of the stage like a boss *

Hope this helped you guys:)

Lots of love,

amateurxblogger

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Mindset

Before I start,I wanted you all to know I’ve started an Instagram for this blog!!

I’ll be posting many pictures of little things that bring happiness and spread positivity…So would mean a lot if you all followed!

Username: @amateurxblogger

So let me begin.

Where I’m from,wearing crop tops and shorts is not encouraged one bit.

If you lived where I live,you would hear the following,well pretty often I would say…

“Your knees aren’t covered wear a pant with your dress”

“Why is your belly-button showing???Do you want to get raped?”

“You can’t wear this,no,you are attracting all the “tomdickhairy-s” around”

“Why don’t you wear a top which has sleeves?”

“Listen to me,you can’t show too much skin alright?This world is not a place where you can wear anything and go skipping about humming to your favourite tune.Its not a romcom movie,it’s the real world”

Well,I’ll tell you what,

You CAN go around wearing anything,skipping about and humming to your favourite tune.

The people who expect you to follow rules on what you have to wear,

Ignore them.

I completely understand if it’s your mom or your grandma,ignoring is pretty hard.

But you can wear what you want and if that attracts attention from “tomdickhairy-s”,you show ‘em what you got.

Women should stop changing the type of clothes they wear.Let them do whatever they want.

Instead,why can’t people come together and change the minds of other people?

Is that very difficult?

Harassment,abuse,rape and whatnot…

Aren’t they all just ideas instilled in the minds of people?

Everything that is done to women in my country is wrong.

In capital letters,WRONG.

We have inequality in incomes,people throwing the girl child away as soon as she is born because of some stupid superstition,girls in villages being denied education from their very own parents,girls who are blamed for getting raped,5-year old children being murdered by their own parents because they can’t afford to raise them,abandonned children on the roads,child marriages everywhere.

How could the mindset of people be ever more wrong?

A child’s,speaking for male and female,life is ruined by child marriages even though declared illegal.

50% of the women in today’s world are indirectly being restricted to what men enjoy.

Am I speaking for women’s rights and putting down men’s rights?

No.

Equality.

Until and unless this world is going to change its mind ,

We women should never stop fighting for what we deserve.

Don’t let anyone tell you what to do.

Girl Power ain’t never going to die.

Until next time,

amateurxblogger

Happiness

Ah!

I’ve honestly spoken about everything from fear to teenage girl issues and flaws…

Guess what I missed on??

Happiness.

“Do what makes you happy.”

Heard that somewhere?YES EVERYWHERE.

But tell me honestly,when we see a poster saying “Be happy always” or something cheesy related to happiness aren’t we all just like,

Whatever

In 14 years of my life,things that make me happy have been reduced to a very limited number of things.

But there are always the simple pleasures!

I realised that happiness is something you can get from anywhere,anyone, and anytime(hopefully).

Out of all the things which bring nothing but sorrow,there are somethings I just look at find happiness in!

Like Clouds?

And Cake? (I’m a teenager who hates the taste of cake but yet ,it looks pretty;))

My list is pretty random but well,

There’s also fairy lights!

Aren’t they the prettiest ever.

Well coming back to happiness,don’t give a damn about things that make you sad and if I tell u to let go I kinda understand that it’s not that easy,but,

Try to let go? 

I’m trying.I’m trying everyday.

Comment down below a few things that make you randomly happy and think of them every morning maybe?Too sappy is it;)?

Well as always,

Keep smiling and don’t ever forget to love yourself…

With love,

amateurxblogger

Birthdays

Isn’t everyone always talking about their 13th birthday or their sweet sixteen?

Well here I am,turning 14 tomorrow.

You know that excitement,happiness  ,the glow the people have on their faces,the heart pumps making a person go all red on their birthdays?

None of that happens to me.

To the outside world,I am just an ordinary well-to-do kid ’cause I can cover up and patch up almost all my feelings.

Deep down , birthdays are just another reminder to me that on this day, “your mother who is dead gave birth to you ”

And as stupid as it sounds for me to be carried away by such an indirect thought,I can’t help it.

Infact,I am very forgettable.

Fun facts about me?

The fun fact is I’m very forgettable if not boring.

And I don’t even deny it ’cause all I like to do is lie in this positive aroma I try creating on this blog,like honestly.

No one gives a damn and I’m totally fine.

No one excluding my father.

My father is that one person I always look forward to talking to after an exhausting day.That one person who may not understand everything a teen goes through but tries so hard to.

Tell me,wouldn’t it be worse if he never did try?

I think people should enjoy their birthdays because it’s that one day you can own…

In fact, you can all own every one of your days.

Wake up in the morning,start with a smile however miserable you feel deep down and do whatever you feel like ’cause after all it’s your day.

A wise friend of mine often says,

“Remember that Winnie the Pooh wore a crop top with no pants,ate his favourite food and loved himself and you can too”

Hiding your feelings from the world is not the best thing to make you feel better but if you find an essential purpose to do it,then don’t think twice!

I smile pushing down how I really feel down my throat to make my father happy.

And if things can get worse,we can only hope.

Hope is a dangerous thing,yes.

But hope.

Have a wonderful day guys:)

With love,

amateurxblogger 

Forever?

I don’t understand how to put this in words…I just don’t.

This blog is for people who thought they could trust this one person and this one person would be their forever.

After all the drama with my friends in school,I met this one girl who made me smile every time she said something.Our relationship only grew stronger leaving out all the ups and downs we had once in a while.I left all my friends for her,when she was at her lowest.

Our friendship was not something normal.We did joke about a lot of things,did things other girls would do…but we also shared our deepest secrets to one another…secrets that have been stuck in our minds for so long,waiting to come out.

It was better than a million other friendship goals.

But,like always.,,an end came.

We didn’t fight,we didn’t scream at each other,we didn’t quarrel on Instagram….nothing.

She just stopped talking to me all of a sudden.She wouldn’t give me a reason why.

I started to wonder if it’s because she stopped liking me or whether she ever liked me.

I don’t know anything.

And this time ,I’m not blaming it on her.

I’m just gonna let her go.

That’s probably one of the most difficult things I’ve done in my life but yet sometimes you just have to get your shit together and let it go.

I’m not ready yet to completely move on but I’m always open for new things finding their way to me:)

I’m not going to bitch about her or create all sorts of drama.

‘Cause I believe that someday, somewhere , sometime there is something good awaiting me .

And that belief is all that you require to hold on to life:)

There may or may not be a forever,but remember sometimes you just have to let things go and have a strong belief something better always exists.

And don’t forget ,always be grateful for what you have right here,right now:)

Thank you friend,for teaching me a wonderful lesson which I will never forget in my life,is all I have left to say:)

Lots of love,

amateurxblogger 

Books 

“Only those who are very weak-minded refuse to be influenced by literature and poetry” ~ Theresa Gray,The Infernal Devices

“We live and breathe words.It was books that kept me from taking my life when I thought I couldn’t love anyone,be loved by anyone;It was books that made me feel like perhaps I was not completely alone”~Will Herondale,The Infernal Devices

I love books.

                             


I’d prefer reading books all day rather than dealing with all the mess going on this world.

‘Cause between the pages of a book is a beautiful place to be!

You know that feeling when you are like absorbed into what you are reading,and it’s just you and the Amazing characters of a the book you are reading away from the reality that apparently sucks?

I LOVE THAT FEELING

The quotes I mentioned above are from characters from a book series written by Cassandra Clare.And guess what? That series, “the infernal devices”  changed my life. There was so much I learnt from that book…it’s just mind-blowing.

From love to compassion each character has their own problems apart from the fantasy part of it.Its just beautiful how it’s all put together.It has an amazing love triangle to be honest which is the best triangle I’ve been come across.

But when u describe the triangle,it just becomes super duper boring.Like,this is how it would go.

“So there’s this girl .And there are two guys. The girl loves them both.The boys both lover her…….”

Like how boring.

See anyone could come up with something like that!!!

It’s just the way it’s written.Like this story covers  Theresa Gray’s side,about her feelings and so on..it’s so beautifully described…I could like really feel the character!

I may not be an amazing writer ,but I’m definitely an avid reader.

I’ve read many books from novels to latest fiction including Great Expectations,The Mortal Instruments,The Dark Artifices,Pride and Prejudice etc.

My favourite novel is “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens…There is like so much you can learn every time you read the book! I love the opening it goes like…

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way — in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. “A Tale of Two Cities,Chapter 1

And don’t even get me started on The Fault in our stars.

People think it’s just this sappy book where there’s a girl suffering from cancer and she meets​ this guy who is a cancer survivor and they hit it off but in the end there’s a sudden twist where the guy dies.

I get so maddd when people describe it like that …it’s not the book’s fault you don’t understand the depth of the book ugh.

There’s so much more to that book.Like just how another normal guy makes a girl’s miserable life brighter and happier.Do you not wanna be that kind of a person?


If there is so much we can learn from reading one book,imagine the amount  of  knowledge we can gain from umpteen number of books!
Whether the genre is Sci-fi,Horror,Drama or Comedy …There is always something to learn when you are open-minded and ready to to.

Encouraging reading is an amazing thing to do not only for vocabulary purposes but also for escaping the real world;)

I’ll probably start doing book reviews now and then hehe

Love,

amateurxblogger

Pride Month🌈

So it’s Pride Month yay!

I love how amazing this month is just because of this.

But even after having a day for each category of humans I don’t think this world is anywhere near improving its acceptence.

Are you gay?A lesbian?A polysexual,bisexual, pansexual or omnisexual?

My answer to any of the above: Nicee!

This world may or may not accept the above but that doesn’t mean you hide yourself and pretend to be someone you are not.

You should be able to come forward,scream to your maximum and tell the world who you are without being ashamed.

Because once you stop accepting your own self,your dreams, happiness and future; they are all gone. They just,vanish slowly.

You don’t want that to happen do you?

Continue reaching for the stars.

Don’t let ANYTHING OR ANYONE stop you.

‘Cause like I’ve said before,what you think about yourself matters more than what the entire world thinks about you!

I haven’t personally met anyone who is gay or a lesbian who is not ashamed of themselves in the 13yrs I’ve existed.

Connor Franta,Joey Graceffa,James Charles, Patrick Starr.

Well how are they so famous?

They make YouTube videos and are completely themselves and I don’t know anyone who’s ever hated them!Imagine the amount of courage that must have required!

Take it from them.

I may not know what bisexuals or polysexuals go through but I do know that they suffer a lot .

Make use of this month and try to prove yourself brave, courageous and unashamed of yourself!

Show the world who you really are!

And for the rest of you, accept each and everyone around you.It shouldn’t matter what their sexuality is.

Take pride in being who you are:))

Lots of love,

amateurxblogger