It’s been long since I posted…
I have bad memories.Loads of ’em.And I wish I could forget all of them.
But I can’t.I just can’t.I find it impossible.
And there are times I keep asking and telling myself, I could have done something to avoid this ,but why didn’t I.
Even though nothing can be done about it,I just keep asking myself.
The bad memories just come flooding to me and haunt me.
And I try to avoid it.or them.
I lost my mother when I was 7 years old.And I was little so I was basically playing catch with myself when her funeral was going on.
And now,I don’t have a biological mother but my memories blame it all on me,saying it was MY fault.
I don’t know what my mother’s last words were,although I wish I did…The last thing I remember telling her was a “bye” when she left the house.The only difference between everyother day and that day was that whenever I said bye in the morning she would come back In the afternoon except that day,she didn’t.
And my memories ask me I wasn’t there with her at the time she passed away.They make me believe it was my fault.And fill my mind with scary thoughts.Sometimes,all lies.
The answer is -“I don’t know”
Well even if you know the right answer,you should reply to your bad memories with “I don’t know”
It’s the best answer.
Memories.There are good and bad.
Good memories bring a smile to your face.
Bad memories haunt you.
We can’t turn bad memories into good memories,but we can always avoid them from eating up our brain.
I’m trying my best to.
We can’t erase everything that caused us pain with recollection.Its not like I want to forget my mom.Bad memories may get washed away if you go to a psychologist but a huge amount of good memories go away with them to.
Every memory is valuable -even the bad ones.
Lots of love,