Change

I enter my new room and my cozy wooden bunk bed is replaced with a fancy white cot

I look around at my room where I have organised all the little things that I love

High above the bed,golden fairy lights glow brighter than ever

I stare at my study and a neat planner is attached onto the wall with my books stacked up neatly

And then finally I turn to my bookcase ,the best part of the room; the scent of my books take my breath away

I am holding a mug of tea in my hand and turn to the curtains,the huge blue curtains,as blue as sapphires on a queen’s crown

I feel the curtains allowing the fuzzy material to touch my hands comforting me and making me feel home

I can hear the unexpected drizzle and I can hear each single drop of rainwater hit the roof and go ‘splash!’

I come back and look into the mirror,a mirror attached to the wall from the ceiling to the floor

And I think to myself, everything around me has changed. But have I?Should I?What should I change?

•••••••

Hey guys!

This year went by really fast and this was around the time I started the blog …and I am so grateful to all my followers,thank you so very much:)

I just wanted to write down what was going on in my mind now and well I did^^^

So 2018 is almost here and it’s the time for resolutions again!

The most relatable thing in the world for humans is probably trying to keep up with their new year resolutions and failing!

But I’m going to take 3 resolutions which I’ll try my best to make happen:-

1.to be happy

2.to never be the reason for someone else’s unhappiness

3.Be grateful for all I have

We all always want the best of the things in life and we never realise how much we already have,and how much we don’t appreciate them.

And this includes me.

So I’m gonna try to make the above happen?

What about you?

Comment down your new year resolutions,I would love to read them:)

With love and wishing you a merry Christmas,

amateurxblogger x))

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Traveling alone?

Lookin’ around.

Passengers everywhere looking into their phones or are busy in their own way ,everyone having a story of theirs,everyone living their life,everyone dealing with their problems and it could be ANYTHING

This is the first time I’m traveling alone in a flight;not an international one but well.

This might not even seem a big deal.

But i just consider this one.

Whenever I do something for the first time,you know that thing inside of you that goes like “You’ll remember this moment forever”

So I went to my grandparents’ place and oh my god,so much happened in 2 days I can’t even explain it all.

My grandparents’ neighbours got this little dog,just a local breed;but that poor thing bless it.

It’s barely 6 months old and yesterday I was the first person to bathe it,take it for a walk and feed it something that was not scraps or leftover.

Like those people don’t even care about the dog and honestly I don’t like them for it but they are not that privileged and have a hard time taking care of themselves but they shouldn’t ruin this pup’s life whatsoever.

I bet that dog had never been off its leash ever until yesterday.

Today when I left the little one I couldn’t care less about anything else.

It’s just that sad face of it ;

“Please don’t leave,take me with you”

And I would have tried taking him along but those people didn’t want him to go away.

He keeps the rats away it seems.

I couldn’t really argue but ugh.

We kind of bonded and all I wish is for that dog to be happy,to live a life like other dogs,to be elsewhere.

I hope by the next time I come to see him he would have run away or something ’cause he’s one smart dog.

The smartest I’ve met for a 6 month old.

This might seem like such a childish issue to bring up but whether it’s an animal or a human or even a plant,

They all deserve to be treated the same,

In a good way.

Just like how we want to be treated,just like how we want all the best things in life,

Every other living thing wants them too

All this dog wants is happiness and I pray with all my heart for him to have some.

So here I am,seated in my return flight,Seat 19A arriving soon.

This was one trip I would never forget because it was one of realisation and something I did all by myself.

Have you met an animal you have bonded so well with but had to let go?

Comment down below:)

Until next time,

amateurxblogger

*Mic drop*

When people ask you how well you performed(anything at all)on stage last week,

You’ll probably give ’em some answer like

“Oh it went extremely well”

Or

“Oh I kinda messed up it was pretty bad but well whatever”

Or

Something else which I don’t know ’cause I can’t read minds of other people;I’m no Colin Cloud :p

But these are the most common replies I get when I ask people how well they did!

You know that feeling when you are going to go on stage and gonna be the only person like thousands of people are gonna be watching or listening to?

And you have that nervous breakdown inside of you and you want to scream out loud?

I get it ALL THE TIME.

I’ve kinda told you all a little about my stage fear in one of my previous posts but well,

Even though it’s not like my biggest fear,when I’m on the stage I think to myself

“IF THIS ISNT YOUR BIGGEST PHOBIA WHAT IS”

But after I get off,I’m just all chill and I like completely forget about it.

We had like this public speaking workshop in school a few days back and there was this retired man from the Air Force whose words just inspired me and it was well,wonderful!

He talked about how we should not try to conquer and get rid of our fear,

But learn to live with it and use it to motivate us further to what we are doing!

And personally,this helped me a lot.

So there was a mathematics and science national championship which I was selected for…

And they didn’t tell us what we had to prepare for and there were like many different stages and in each stage they like eliminated over 75 children.

So it was basically a more humane version of the Hunger Games.

So I was super surprised when I made it to the Top 20.

Like SUPER SURPRISED!!!

It’s not like I doubted my knowledge I just lost almost all my confidence when in this last stage I had to go up the arena and talk about anything related to maths.

I looked pretty confident on the outside but inside I was just shivering;I just wanted to be back under the duvets of my cozy bed at home gah.

As soon as I got on stage,I like pushed the fear to like this one side and started thinking of things to talk about ’cause obviously this was an honest surprise!

And within seconds,words just flew out of my mouth and after I was done ,there was like a long applause and I just LOVED that feeling eeks.

A part of me was so happy I was able to avoid my fear and the other part was happy cuz I realised I was a good speaker haha!

So that’s how my stage fear ends!

For those of you who put in all their efforts to get rid of their fear like the old me,

Don’t.

Just learn how to live with it!

This is how my stage experiences will go now;)

*enters stage*

*picks up mic*

*speaks*

*mic drop*

*walks out of the stage like a boss *

Hope this helped you guys:)

Lots of love,

amateurxblogger

Mindset

Before I start,I wanted you all to know I’ve started an Instagram for this blog!!

I’ll be posting many pictures of little things that bring happiness and spread positivity…So would mean a lot if you all followed!

Username: @amateurxblogger

So let me begin.

Where I’m from,wearing crop tops and shorts is not encouraged one bit.

If you lived where I live,you would hear the following,well pretty often I would say…

“Your knees aren’t covered wear a pant with your dress”

“Why is your belly-button showing???Do you want to get raped?”

“You can’t wear this,no,you are attracting all the “tomdickhairy-s” around”

“Why don’t you wear a top which has sleeves?”

“Listen to me,you can’t show too much skin alright?This world is not a place where you can wear anything and go skipping about humming to your favourite tune.Its not a romcom movie,it’s the real world”

Well,I’ll tell you what,

You CAN go around wearing anything,skipping about and humming to your favourite tune.

The people who expect you to follow rules on what you have to wear,

Ignore them.

I completely understand if it’s your mom or your grandma,ignoring is pretty hard.

But you can wear what you want and if that attracts attention from “tomdickhairy-s”,you show ‘em what you got.

Women should stop changing the type of clothes they wear.Let them do whatever they want.

Instead,why can’t people come together and change the minds of other people?

Is that very difficult?

Harassment,abuse,rape and whatnot…

Aren’t they all just ideas instilled in the minds of people?

Everything that is done to women in my country is wrong.

In capital letters,WRONG.

We have inequality in incomes,people throwing the girl child away as soon as she is born because of some stupid superstition,girls in villages being denied education from their very own parents,girls who are blamed for getting raped,5-year old children being murdered by their own parents because they can’t afford to raise them,abandonned children on the roads,child marriages everywhere.

How could the mindset of people be ever more wrong?

A child’s,speaking for male and female,life is ruined by child marriages even though declared illegal.

50% of the women in today’s world are indirectly being restricted to what men enjoy.

Am I speaking for women’s rights and putting down men’s rights?

No.

Equality.

Until and unless this world is going to change its mind ,

We women should never stop fighting for what we deserve.

Don’t let anyone tell you what to do.

Girl Power ain’t never going to die.

Until next time,

amateurxblogger

Happiness

Ah!

I’ve honestly spoken about everything from fear to teenage girl issues and flaws…

Guess what I missed on??

Happiness.

“Do what makes you happy.”

Heard that somewhere?YES EVERYWHERE.

But tell me honestly,when we see a poster saying “Be happy always” or something cheesy related to happiness aren’t we all just like,

Whatever

In 14 years of my life,things that make me happy have been reduced to a very limited number of things.

But there are always the simple pleasures!

I realised that happiness is something you can get from anywhere,anyone, and anytime(hopefully).

Out of all the things which bring nothing but sorrow,there are somethings I just look at find happiness in!

Like Clouds?

And Cake? (I’m a teenager who hates the taste of cake but yet ,it looks pretty;))

My list is pretty random but well,

There’s also fairy lights!

Aren’t they the prettiest ever.

Well coming back to happiness,don’t give a damn about things that make you sad and if I tell u to let go I kinda understand that it’s not that easy,but,

Try to let go? 

I’m trying.I’m trying everyday.

Comment down below a few things that make you randomly happy and think of them every morning maybe?Too sappy is it;)?

Well as always,

Keep smiling and don’t ever forget to love yourself…

With love,

amateurxblogger

Birthdays

Isn’t everyone always talking about their 13th birthday or their sweet sixteen?

Well here I am,turning 14 tomorrow.

You know that excitement,happiness  ,the glow the people have on their faces,the heart pumps making a person go all red on their birthdays?

None of that happens to me.

To the outside world,I am just an ordinary well-to-do kid ’cause I can cover up and patch up almost all my feelings.

Deep down , birthdays are just another reminder to me that on this day, “your mother who is dead gave birth to you ”

And as stupid as it sounds for me to be carried away by such an indirect thought,I can’t help it.

Infact,I am very forgettable.

Fun facts about me?

The fun fact is I’m very forgettable if not boring.

And I don’t even deny it ’cause all I like to do is lie in this positive aroma I try creating on this blog,like honestly.

No one gives a damn and I’m totally fine.

No one excluding my father.

My father is that one person I always look forward to talking to after an exhausting day.That one person who may not understand everything a teen goes through but tries so hard to.

Tell me,wouldn’t it be worse if he never did try?

I think people should enjoy their birthdays because it’s that one day you can own…

In fact, you can all own every one of your days.

Wake up in the morning,start with a smile however miserable you feel deep down and do whatever you feel like ’cause after all it’s your day.

A wise friend of mine often says,

“Remember that Winnie the Pooh wore a crop top with no pants,ate his favourite food and loved himself and you can too”

Hiding your feelings from the world is not the best thing to make you feel better but if you find an essential purpose to do it,then don’t think twice!

I smile pushing down how I really feel down my throat to make my father happy.

And if things can get worse,we can only hope.

Hope is a dangerous thing,yes.

But hope.

Have a wonderful day guys:)

With love,

amateurxblogger 

Forever?

I don’t understand how to put this in words…I just don’t.

This blog is for people who thought they could trust this one person and this one person would be their forever.

After all the drama with my friends in school,I met this one girl who made me smile every time she said something.Our relationship only grew stronger leaving out all the ups and downs we had once in a while.I left all my friends for her,when she was at her lowest.

Our friendship was not something normal.We did joke about a lot of things,did things other girls would do…but we also shared our deepest secrets to one another…secrets that have been stuck in our minds for so long,waiting to come out.

It was better than a million other friendship goals.

But,like always.,,an end came.

We didn’t fight,we didn’t scream at each other,we didn’t quarrel on Instagram….nothing.

She just stopped talking to me all of a sudden.She wouldn’t give me a reason why.

I started to wonder if it’s because she stopped liking me or whether she ever liked me.

I don’t know anything.

And this time ,I’m not blaming it on her.

I’m just gonna let her go.

That’s probably one of the most difficult things I’ve done in my life but yet sometimes you just have to get your shit together and let it go.

I’m not ready yet to completely move on but I’m always open for new things finding their way to me:)

I’m not going to bitch about her or create all sorts of drama.

‘Cause I believe that someday, somewhere , sometime there is something good awaiting me .

And that belief is all that you require to hold on to life:)

There may or may not be a forever,but remember sometimes you just have to let things go and have a strong belief something better always exists.

And don’t forget ,always be grateful for what you have right here,right now:)

Thank you friend,for teaching me a wonderful lesson which I will never forget in my life,is all I have left to say:)

Lots of love,

amateurxblogger